I used to think friendship
meant forever.
Meant daily chats,
long voice notes,
tagged memes,
and showing up for every moment,
big or small.
I used to think friendship
meant being everything
to everyone.
Available. Dependable. Unbreakable.
But lately,
I’ve had to relearn it all.
Because I gave too much,
to people who gave only when it was easy.
I stayed loyal in silence,
even when the silence felt like abandonment.
I called it friendship—
but was it really?
Scripture says,
“The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.” — Proverbs 12:26
Now I’m learning to pause.
To listen to my spirit.
To see friendship not as a transaction,
but as a sacred space.
Not every connection
is a covenant.
Not every hangout
is heart-level.
And not every “friend”
knows how to be one.
Friendship, real friendship,
doesn’t guilt me for growing.
It doesn’t go quiet
the moment I set a boundary.
It doesn’t compete
it covers.
“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.”— Proverbs 17:17
I’ve cried over friendships
that ended without warning.
But I’ve also found peace
in friendships that ended for a reason.
God was never subtracting—
He was making room.
Room for honesty.
For safety.
For mutual love.
For growth.
So now,
I define friendship like this:
It’s someone who sees you
not just when you’re shining—
but when you’re shaking.
Someone who hears your silence,
respects your space,
and chooses you anyway.
And yes,
sometimes that kind of friendship is rare.
But I’d rather have a few roots
than a hundred scattered leaves.
“Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”— John 15:13
And that’s the model—
Christ, the truest friend.
He never left.
Never forgot.
Never loved me halfway.
So I’m walking forward now—
not bitter,
just better.
Redefining friendship,
not by the world’s standards,
but by God’s.
…
Xo 💋
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