This blog post is a highlight and a reflective addition to a blog post I read earlier today from PJ @lifesfinewhine which talked about “types of people to avoid in your twenties”
PJ laid out a wise, heartfelt list from the “Me, Me, Me’s” to the subtly harmful “Faux Type B’s” and dangerous “Narcissists”, including “Pick‑Me’s” and “Frenemies” whose actions betray their words which I see to be valid. But if there’s one crucial thread that ties these all together, it’s this:
When you’re in your twenties still forming, learning, and vulnerable, it’s not just about avoiding harmful people, but about defending your emotional space and protecting your inner peace and growth.
Your twenties are a fragile, precious incubator of identity and purpose. The people who drain, manipulate, or echo your self‑doubt threaten more than just your peace they threaten the very person you’re becoming.
Here’s A Personal Angle…
I remember when I was fresh into my twenties, I spent months trapped in a friendship where the other person employed what you aptly described as “weaponized incompetence” they forgot important conversations, mismanaged plans, and consistently left emotional labor to me. I convinced myself I was being patient, generous but really, I was enabling my own exhaustion.
One morning, weary and disillusioned, I stumbled upon Proverbs 4:23 during my personal quiet time / devotion which says,
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” (Proverbs 4:23, NIV)
That verse felt like a wake-up call. It isn’t selfish to protect my heart; it is absolutely necessary. Walking away from that relationship freed me to focus on people who reciprocated, who showed up, rather than just took advantage of me. My twenties so far have taught me that sometimes love means setting strong boundaries even if it stings.
Here are a few Biblical Add-ons based on what we just discussed that are quite remarkable to this topic,
Firstly, the scripture says “Guard your heart…” (Proverbs 4:23) — It is a subtle reminder that our internal life seeds everything else we become, I wrote about something in this light few years ago.
Keeping toxic influences out of our sphere isn’t judgment, it’s self-preservation.
“Do not be misled: ‘Bad company corrupts good character.” (1 Corinthians 15:33). Oh I heard this a lot at church growing up during youth camp sermons. In essence, sometimes stepping back isn’t about pride, it’s about protecting your integrity.
And last but not least, “Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers, they succeed.” (Proverbs 15:22) which simply means surround yourself with voices of encouragement, accountability, growth not just convenience or flattery.
Closing Thoughts
Such an honest, nuanced insight was shared in that post which highlighted that “Run, don’t jog, sprint away” from narcissists struck a chord with many readers which is perfectly acceptable. But what I’d add and maybe this echoes with the unsaid wisdom in that post in summary is this:
Your twenties aren’t just about avoiding people, they’re about choosing wisdom, fertilizing your inner life, and building a community of honest, reciprocal souls. When you cultivate friendships rooted in respect, mutual love, and accountability, you’re not just surviving this decade you’re preparing for a whole life of wholeness.
That said, if you’re reading this post, you can go ahead and read through PJ’s post I highlighted earlier which inspired me to write this for you. Hope you got something from this post as well. So sorry I’ve been silent these past few days, but I trust you are doing well and life is treating you even better.
Take care,
Xo 💋
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